Ex- English captain Lewis Moody has revealed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet deal with the full implications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was part of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and lifted multiple English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast 14 days after learning he has the condition.
"There's something about looking the future in the face and not wanting to completely absorb that at the present time," he stated.
"It's not that I fail to comprehend where it's progressing. We comprehend that. But there is certainly a hesitation to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, speaking together with his wife Annie, states instead he feels "at ease" as he focuses on his immediate wellbeing, his family and making preparations for when the illness deteriorates.
"Maybe that's shock or maybe I deal with matters in another way, and after I have the details, it's simpler," he stated further.
Initial Symptoms
Moody learned he had MND after detecting some reduced power in his upper arm while exercising in the gym.
After physical therapy failed to improve the issue, a set of scans revealed nerves in his central nervous system had been damaged by MND.
"You're presented with this medical finding of MND and we're understandably very affected about it, but it's rather peculiar because I feel like nothing's wrong," he continued.
"I don't experience sick. I don't feel poorly
"The signs I have are quite slight. I have some muscle loss in the hand area and the shoulder region.
"I'm still capable of accomplishing anything and everything. And with luck that will persist for as long as is feasible."
Disease Development
MND can develop rapidly.
According to the charity MND Association, the illness takes the lives of a one-third of people within a 365 days and over half within two years of identification, as swallowing and respiration become harder.
Treatment can only slow decline.
"It isn't ever me that I experience sorrow for," added an emotional Moody.
"There's grief around having to inform my mum - as an sole offspring - and the consequences that has for her."
Household Consequences
Speaking from the household with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by sentiment when he discussed informing his sons - 17-year Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the devastating news, commenting: "That represented the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two excellent boys and that was pretty devastating," Moody said.
"We sat on the settee in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog jumped over and commenced licking the moisture off our faces, which was somewhat funny."
Moody said the priority was staying in the present.
"There exists no treatment and that is why you have to be extremely militantly focused on just accepting and enjoying all aspects now," he stated.
"As Annie said, we've been very blessed that the primary decision I made when I retired from playing was to devote as much duration with the kids as attainable. We can't reclaim those years back."
Player Link
Professional sportspeople are unevenly influenced by MND, with investigations indicating the prevalence of the condition is up to sixfold higher than in the wider community.
It is considered that by restricting the air accessible and producing injury to neural pathways, regular, vigorous physical activity can trigger the condition in those inherently predisposed.
Sports Playing Days
Moody, who earned 71 England caps and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in recognition of his courageous, persistent approach to the game.
He participated through a stress fracture of his leg for a time with Leicester and once caused a practice scuffle with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he abandoned a training equipment and started throwing himself into tackles.
After entering as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the end of the throw-in in the decisive phase of play, establishing a platform for playmaker Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to score the match-winning drop-goal.
Support System
Moody has previously informed Johnson, who led England to that championship, and a few other former colleagues about his condition, but the remaining individuals will be learning his news with the remainder of public.
"There will be a time when we'll need to rely on their backing but, at the present, just having that type of care and recognition that people are present is all that matters," he commented.
"The sport is such a wonderful family.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even should it ended now, I've valued all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"Being able to call your love your career, it's one of the most significant privileges.
"To have done it for so long a period with the teams that I did it with was a delight. And I know they will desire to help in whatever way they can and I look forward to having those talks."
